Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Do you think you're beautiful?

Confidence is the most beautiful accessory that a girl can have......

Embarking on a natural hair journey takes just that....In a world where straight hair is considered beautiful and everything else is considered a Haute Mess (quoting Vogue Italia) takes a lot of guts. But let's be real, open and honest with ourselves, do you really think that you're attractive? After all of the make up is washed away, the earrings come off, the spanx removed and you look in the mirror at your God given image.

What do you really think about your looks?

The Dove Campaign for Real Beauty found that only 2% of women around the world described themselves as beautiful. Not just women in America but women from all around the WORLD. You've seen the Dove commercials, with women of all shapes, ages, colors and sizes, flaunting their figure in white underwear. I first noticed the commercial while watching TV, and it caught my eye because the lady in the commercial had love handles. I thought to myself "OMG I cannot believe that they are showing this on TV." I was accustomed to seeing stick thin Victoria's Secret models strut their stuff in sexy lingerie. To me, what Dove was doing was revolutionary, showing real women and their bodies was very inspiring. 

I for one had never struggled with weight issues until gaining the Freshman 15 in college. It took about a year and a half to get rid of "the tire around my waist" as one of my male friends described my figure at the time. And to be honest that insecurity still haunts me to this day. I am gonna go out on a limb here and expose you to one of my great insecurities when I was in my early 20's...and that is my weight. Even though, I am very dark skin, I've always thought that I was beautiful----> My uncle said to me one time, "You may be dark skin but at least you ain't fat"--I was about 9 yrs old at the time so didn't understand what he was talking about. As a young girl, I was always thin so weight was not an issue. Growing into a grown woman, where my hips started to get rounder, my thighs bigger and an expanding waist line made me really conscious of my body. I would look at Victoria's Secret catalogs and think if only.....but as a I grew in relationship with God weight issues didn't matter as much. 

The statistic that only 2% of women describe themselves as beautiful is startling to me. If I were ever asked if I was beautiful, I'm almost certain my answer would be "YES". We all have our insecurities and parts of our body's that we think needs improvement whether it's our waist line, nose, arms or skin tone. I've compared my body to supermodels who get paid millions of dollars to stay thin (which is unrealistic). I believe that a lot of women look at others instead of the person in the mirror to define beauty. 

Case in point- We are going through a "Natural Hair Revolution" because for decades the world aligned women with straight hair as being beautiful. Don't get me wrong, it's not just African descent women who have been misled but all women whose hair texture isn't naturally straight. 

Going natural coupled with other insecurities about my body has been a really liberating experience for me. Every morning, when I look in the mirror I admire my hair and natural appearance. It no longer bothers me when people call my hair nappy because I think it's beautiful. I've accepted that I have a little junk in the trunk and with that comes some extra bulge. But I don't think that I am more or less beautiful than the other woman. Merely because I was fearfully and wonderfully made in the eyes of God. 

Are you defining your beauty by what you see in the mirror or on TV? Do you really think you're beautiful? 


  1. so many of us for a long time have conformed to the world view of what beauty is and its sad. I include myself because for a long time without even consciously thinking about it, I didn't see the beauty in wearing natural hair. Not saying that being natural now makes me operate on some "higher" level of thinking but through all things there should be some growth and maturity and this natural hair journey has helped develop that. there's beauty in everyone and everything, we just have to be willing to look pass the standard mold.

    1. Thank you for your comment Casha. I completely agree with you. My thinking about beauty and self perception has definitely changed since I went natural. It's so sad to see that most women don't believe they are beautiful. We spend a lot time buying products and clothes to make us appear beautiful when we should focus on our mindset. Going natural has been a physical and mental process that I am grateful for because I've grown tremendously.

  2. This is a wonderful post, because I don't think we as women realize how much emphasize we put on outward things to enhance an inward attribute: beauty. Going natural has unlocked a level of confidence and self assurance in me that I didn't even know existed! The more I embrace who God has made me "naturally" in all aspects of life the happier and more confident I've become! It's amazing what going natural can do! Ha!

  3. I sometimes have issues with this are you beautiful thing. I would always get questioned on why I do certain things but a year ago I really started to believe that I don't care what others thing...I'm fine being ME! Growing my relaxer out was a journey and I wanted to do it for me not for anyone else. Now I feel when I look in the mirror I see ME...MELISSA and I'm happy with that. Really enjoyed this post.



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