Kurlee Belle & All U Presents National Natural Hair Meet Up Day!

VIDEO: Terri of Kurlee Belle & Lashona of All U Natural Hair 

Black & White: What white girls are really thinking….

This topic brings to mind a very hilarious and clever video that I watched once called,  "Shit White girls say..... to black girls". While watching the video, I couldn't compose myself because I'm that black girl who white girls get comfortable with and say what's really on their mind. I'm not sure what it is about me or my personality but a lot of people not only "white girls" think it's appropriate to tell me exactly what they're thinking. (and sometimes it's too much information)….anywho…People always say to me "You're going to marry a white man." or " You're a white girl trapped in a black girl's body." So I guess that's why I'm the perfect confidant.

While having a late lunch with one of my friends the question came up "Why do you'll wear your hair like that?" (Scene: We were in a restaurant filled with black witnesses…all of whom were wearing lace front weaves.)

Mid way through a piece of lettuce, I stopped chewing to see what she was talking about and asked, "Wear our hair like what?"

She proceeded to say " You know what I'm talking about….like that…" Ok, I decided not to be the smart@$$ that I usually am and said, "Do you mean a weave?" Her response…."Yes"…."Well Tori." I said…."White women wear weave's too and who is you'll cause I wear my hair natural?"

Her response, "Yea, I think your hair is so cool. It looks much better than those lace fronts that all the girls are wearing."

I think you're hair is so cool is a common descriptor used by other races to describe natural hair. What exactly does the word "cool" mean when describing our hair? I pulled out my cell phone and decided to poll a number of my white, asian, and latina friends. Here is what I found.

#1- Cool means peculiar. It is quite different. We love it and it looks great on you.

#2- Well to be honest with you, my dad said your hair was cool. He used to date a girl back in the 60's that had an afro....weird I know lol.

#3- I have really curly hair but it isn't as curly as yours. I like my hair straight...my frizz is out of control.

#4- I wish I could grow an afro. That would be so cool. Maybe for halloween, you can dress up as an Asian girl and I'll dress up as an African American. Wouldn't that be cool?

#5- You're afro is cool but I like you better with straight hair. It suits your face shape better…just to be honest.

#6- (dating a black guy)- I love your hair girl. You know that. I will be bringing my little girls over to Auntie Terri's house because you know I can't do black hair.

The dictionary's meaning of cool is "the quality of being fashionably attractive or impressive."

I think I'll opt for the dictionary's version of cool.

By the way, I love all of my friends regardless of race so this post is not racial just meant to share what I've learned and humor in what some people think about our hair. Remember the only opinion that matters is your own.

How do your non-black friends describe your hair?

Mad Hair Monday Model: Mothers & Daughters

Nassau, Bahamas: National Natural Hair Meet Up Day! May 19th, 2012

Hello Kurlees! It is pleasure to present National Natural Hair Meet Up Day in THE BAHAMAS with All U 242. There will be product swaps, sample products and Kurlee Belle Natural Hair Self Expression Tees and tanks! Food and drinks available. This is going to be an event not to be missed.  

Break Up Hair

What is it about break ups that makes us want to either hide from the world or reinvent ourselves?
If you have not experienced the heart wrenching feeling of being dumped or hurt then you're among the lucky few.

Some women choose to leave the continent of their ex, as if distance would mend the heart faster. Others go by the motto "The quickest way to get over a man is to get under another one" which is not a good idea. But one of the worst decisions to make after a break up is a drastic change to your appearance and that includes your hair. Many women opt for a short cut, new color or shave it all off like Britney Spears. This change is used to symbolize a new You or new direction in life.

The hardest thing about "Break Up Hair" is that you not only have to deal with the psychological consciences of your new hair do but also the pain of heart ache. If you've just experienced a break up and want to change up your look, start with your wardrobe first. A new dress that isn't flattering can be returned or gifted to a friend but that short cut or fuchsia hair takes awhile to be undone. Drastic changes should never be done after any traumatic or emotional experience. The only person that can truly go from one extreme hair do to the next is Rihanna…who since her Break Up with Chris Brown has gone from black to brown to red to blonde. Not only is this expensive but can be ultra damaging to your hair. So unless you have a personal stylist on deck...refrain from changing up your tresses until you are at an emotionally stable place in your life.

The best way to get over someone you love or loved is to do things that you love. After a break up, it is best to focus on your mental state and what truly makes you happy. Often times when women are in relationships, they spend a lot of time trying to please their mate and become completely consumed with the others needs. Revisit your hobbies, start running again, painting, swimming, salsa dancing, whatever it is that makes you feel like yourself again.

Have you made a drastic change to your hair because of a break up? What was the outcome? 

Do you think you're beautiful?

Confidence is the most beautiful accessory that a girl can have......

Embarking on a natural hair journey takes just that....In a world where straight hair is considered beautiful and everything else is considered a Haute Mess (quoting Vogue Italia) takes a lot of guts. But let's be real, open and honest with ourselves, do you really think that you're attractive? After all of the make up is washed away, the earrings come off, the spanx removed and you look in the mirror at your God given image.

What do you really think about your looks?

The Dove Campaign for Real Beauty found that only 2% of women around the world described themselves as beautiful. Not just women in America but women from all around the WORLD. You've seen the Dove commercials, with women of all shapes, ages, colors and sizes, flaunting their figure in white underwear. I first noticed the commercial while watching TV, and it caught my eye because the lady in the commercial had love handles. I thought to myself "OMG I cannot believe that they are showing this on TV." I was accustomed to seeing stick thin Victoria's Secret models strut their stuff in sexy lingerie. To me, what Dove was doing was revolutionary, showing real women and their bodies was very inspiring. 

I for one had never struggled with weight issues until gaining the Freshman 15 in college. It took about a year and a half to get rid of "the tire around my waist" as one of my male friends described my figure at the time. And to be honest that insecurity still haunts me to this day. I am gonna go out on a limb here and expose you to one of my great insecurities when I was in my early 20's...and that is my weight. Even though, I am very dark skin, I've always thought that I was beautiful----> My uncle said to me one time, "You may be dark skin but at least you ain't fat"--I was about 9 yrs old at the time so didn't understand what he was talking about. As a young girl, I was always thin so weight was not an issue. Growing into a grown woman, where my hips started to get rounder, my thighs bigger and an expanding waist line made me really conscious of my body. I would look at Victoria's Secret catalogs and think if only.....but as a I grew in relationship with God weight issues didn't matter as much. 

The statistic that only 2% of women describe themselves as beautiful is startling to me. If I were ever asked if I was beautiful, I'm almost certain my answer would be "YES". We all have our insecurities and parts of our body's that we think needs improvement whether it's our waist line, nose, arms or skin tone. I've compared my body to supermodels who get paid millions of dollars to stay thin (which is unrealistic). I believe that a lot of women look at others instead of the person in the mirror to define beauty. 

Case in point- We are going through a "Natural Hair Revolution" because for decades the world aligned women with straight hair as being beautiful. Don't get me wrong, it's not just African descent women who have been misled but all women whose hair texture isn't naturally straight. 

Going natural coupled with other insecurities about my body has been a really liberating experience for me. Every morning, when I look in the mirror I admire my hair and natural appearance. It no longer bothers me when people call my hair nappy because I think it's beautiful. I've accepted that I have a little junk in the trunk and with that comes some extra bulge. But I don't think that I am more or less beautiful than the other woman. Merely because I was fearfully and wonderfully made in the eyes of God. 

Are you defining your beauty by what you see in the mirror or on TV? Do you really think you're beautiful? 

Mad Hair Monday Model: Brown Girls